When your dying....

... and you have someone attached to you, what would you do?

Make the person hate you so (s)he'll leave or make the most out of it?
I choose the former... it's a mean thing to do but for me it's the best way for that person to let go of you... hate then indifference... indifference make you feel nothing, no love, no hate, no emotional hang up... cold, ice-cold, stone-cold.

I don't like seeing people grieving over me, whether for whatever reason, i don't like it. I want to be non-existent, invisible maybe... unseen, unnoticed, ignored.

So there, being too close to me is a bad thing... leaving me is worse... me leaving is worst... i hate the drama of it all... i hate death around me, but i wish that death come to me...

i am ready, it's a celebration of life - to die. i have no reason to be afraid, what i have done in the past have been my choice, my doing and i'm ready to face the consequences. the intent has always been there... in whatever i do... certainly from my point of view it is for the best... end justifies the means?? means justifies the end?? i don't know.

i am ready... no fear... i am asking for it... bring it... give me freedom... this is too much to take.