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ommission = deception?

whether intentional or accidental, regardless of the case.. the question is always the motive. conveniently leaving out details for a self-serving purpose... back at you... now i know.

on a need to know basis? maybe.. but out of politeness, transparency is a must at the very least.

felt like an idiot, and nobody bothered correcting me... saving me from the discomfort or the sting of the truth? at that instant.. maybe its acceptable but afterwards, i deserve to know... maybe this people don't give me enough respect or credit to handle facts, no matter how painful or devasating it may be.

is it insulting my intelligence? yes...
was i mislead?... a matter of perception, depends on what is known
am i jerk for acting pissed? am i an ass for being grouchy? when i am no one and in no position to make demands.

beck and call? still i don't know, soooo abusingly selfish
so who knows the truth? me and you... your friends know barely half the story... half the truth... whole lies? ommission = deception? for a self-serving purpose.

and i leave... turn around and walked away... surely your friends will think i'm a jerk... that i wasn't serious at all... that what i gave you or how i treated you was simply a thing i do regularly, on a daily basis.

sadly the truth to come out will compromise your reputation, your dignity, "pagkababae" ika nga... thanks to your good for nothing non-commital imaginary boyfriend, who could have been a gentleman and stop being with you if he won't commit at all... leaving you a topic of discussion when an opportune time presents itself... damaging rumors... grapevine of what could really be happening or not.

maybe i'll take the fall, for your sake, it may be the kind thing to do... not out of pity but out of my respect for you, maybe that forsaken love... respect is all i wanted in return, reciprocity could have been great.

so i'll be the jerk, a player... let them think that. i've been judged, condemned before from perceptions based on incomplete fact... i'll forget we kissed, i'll forget the passion, the things we've done, even if you never became mine... i'll convince myself that this things meant something to you, that it was not superficial, a convenient platonic-cim-plutonic relationship for you... that will be our private secret... coz what will that make out of you when the stench of the truth reeks out from the closet... it was supposed to be a wonderful fragrance of passion and affection.

i beg that you don't provoke me... that you randomly throw side comments my way to put me on the spot infront of everyone, acting like nothing happend.. acting like i am not hurting... don't show me how unaffected you are, when you tell me you are... don't pretend to my face, that equates to deceit and i never let deception get away on the spot... a get even... that i beg you

so i guess that's it... i love you - goodbye!!!