Corporate Exercise

Entrepreneurship, Excellence, Executives etc... etc.. . a hundred and one E's and what have you... but let me talk about corporate exercise. Yes, the kind that when you engage in it, will not guarantee burned calories, slimmer measurements but addeed stress, high-blood pressure and a grouchy disposition.

Exercise No. 1 - Backstabbing / Backbiting: the act of saying, doing nasty acts, making faces and all the funny antics that seems amuzing to your audience at the expense of an unknowing target. oh and did i say the instigator of this is a lowly bred individual who thinks
(s)he is the center of the world, while the audience are spineless people who have no brain (or maybe they sit on it with ther big ass) who just agrees to all they hear. simply because they have no breeding themselves... but pa and aso may breeding.

Target Areas: Whole body workout.

Exercise No. 2 - Jumping to Conclusion: the act of being a smart- (wide and humongously flabby) ass who's a know-it-all kind of person who thinks (s)he has figured everything out all by (him/her)self when in fact (s)he is just a lousy assistant stuck on that job for the longest time... since time immemorial. oh and did i say (s)he studied sa"mataas na pamantasan ng chuba-chuba" that (s)he isn't supposed to be making coffee or ordering food for the managers who are workng their butt off thru lunch to make money for employee's salary which (s)he is a part of? LOSER.

Target Area: Brain Muscles (yeah, even if its in your BigWASS)

Exercise No. 3 - Gossip / grapevine spreading: an exercise involving the mouth and the tongue. (sheesh - why not go for oral sex, it's more pleasurable and leaves everyone satisfied, both passive and active partners) There are two varieties of this exercise, please refer to Exercise No. 1 for first variety. the second variety is really more on a self-centered, self-proclamation, social climbing way of spreading supposedly "important" things (s)he does for an important person. (notice " " is only in the first "important" in previous sentence)

- You know "im suposed to decide what gifts to buy, where to shop, uh-oh and that also
involves the important person's, important person"

- hay "i am invited nga to their place, have lunch or eat with them"

what a social climber. pheeeew... outright disgusting... bleeeeehhhck.. really stinks.. with that big wide flabby ass... it no wonder

Exercise No. 4 - Point Fingers: for crying out loud... again.. please just like oral sex, use the finger na lang. gets??? DO NOT POINT YOUR LONGANISA FINGERS TO MY FACE... hahaha just occured to me, point it or stick it to the kweba like nostrils of your kid. Here's how, hook your index and middle finger into the nostrils. make sure you dont cut the nose hairs for more grip due to friction. now pull... and you can have your kid follow you around coz you have your kid by the nose..hahaha literally that is. *nyuk* *nyuk*

Target Area: Finger muscles, Nostril Muscles

This exercises will help you develop an overall improvement depending on how you exercise.

• Weight loss / Toning: Light weight, High Frequency - do it everyday but in small simple hirits it will tone people around you and in time be tolerable
• Mass building: Heavy weight, Low frequency - do it seldomly, but when you do, make it Max's hirit.. sagad to the bones.
• Strength Training: Increasing weight, decreasing frequency - start slow, be mild but repetitive then progress to be harsh and argue you seldom do it naman..

Whatever happens you'll develop "power" especially if you have mastered to switch from one exercise to another depending on the target audience... but this "power" you can only use on "BJ" you know, "Buko Juice" can't get it?? ok, clue... BJ is a shorctut, an acronym of (toot toot).... and the slang of "the word i am referring to"

U use this "power" on the "word i was referring to"... this gives you the authority to shout, scream, embarass, compromise the "BJ" (o gets nyo na?) coz u exercised and of course.... how can i forget u studied in the "mataas na pamantasan ng chuba-chuba" Plus this gives extra "powers" ... invisibility that is... disappear for hours and hours in the middle of the day.. ay oo nga pala... ur helping make big decisions for the important people. yeeech!!!

hahaha... the power of the internet... i just upgraded the exercises to cyberspace. whew what a work out... i feel so powerful and invincible... oh... before i forget get... ink for less??? anyone???

hibernation...

its been a while since i last logged in to my blog. whew... so much has happened to me in the past 3 months or so... so here goes

had a GF, became permanent in my job, got a raise, had my car re-upholstered, underwashed, tuned up, changed the headers, power-window fixed, had big fights with GF, had sleepless nights, out-of-towns, overnights, events, contract signing, friction with co-workers (is there a knife still sticking out from my back??- yeah you got it right: more on this is another post), sideswipe a motorcycle (nope, he's ok though), dance in our christmas party... sheesh what else is new, bought and distributed hundreds of gifts to my friends and officemates and relatives.

uh-oh and i got to sing in our department's xmas party... talk about work hazards. grrrrrr.... like i always say, "pasayawin nyo na lang ako, wag nyo lang ako pakantahin"

hay...