grrrrrr......

restless... angst.... dammit...need a doze of something something.... ahhhh i cant take it anymore. SOMEBODY HELP!!!!!!!!!

I'd rather

Read a friends blog and went to a link she posted. How true, how true... the result of this on-line quiz i took. One try and i got the result that reflected me... or my stupidity.

I can not remember how many times i ignored my instincts, on the trouble that there is to come or the heart ache that is caused by my stubborness. When it is clear that it would'nt work out because of clashing personalities, different views, opinions yet i go on. i work hard for what i want, and with sheer hard work and sweat, persistence and dedication, I end up with the person of my desire till eventually i have my heart plucked out and stepped on.. that at least is the feeling after all has been said and done. I never seem to learn, i am actually at it again. Yes, but i'd rather get hurt, i'd rather be glad that it happened than regret not doing anything. what could have been questions, and the what if's will never stop haunting you... the pain?? it will go away, it will make me stronger... it will make me a better person, after being jaded and cynical in the meantime


Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

This world is all mixed up....

there's something going on... what's going on!!!

Mastaplann:

what's this What's that,
I don't understand
Susie was a member of the high school band
Straight A student, she was kind of shy though
Riding on the bus to her home in the ghetto
Both parents gone, she lived with her brother
So she had to play the role of acting like a mother
Because everyday a couple years ago
Susie used to kick it with a fellow named Joe

No one special but she needed someone
So she went to Joe thinking he would be her loved one
But Joe was a player every day another girl
But Susie didn't know it so they went and took a whirl

And before she knew it one month later
Susie got pregnant from Joe the baby maker
Joe said, "See 'ya, I wouldn't wanna be 'ya"
"Yo gotta go 'cus I don't want to know"
What could Susie do now she has a boy
Working two jobs so she can buy him toys
Living everyday to try and do her best
At fouteen she's dying from the stress


I gotta tell the facts, just the way that I see it
Fools with a habit using drugs just to feed it
First they experiment, then they want more
On the street corner like they're shopping at a store
Crack cocaine, is getting out of hand
They sell it by the vial, they sell it by the gram
It really don't matter if you're poor or you're rich
The rich get it quicker when they need to get a fix
The poor find another way so they can get dinero
Rob you on the sidewalk, they really couldn't care oh

No ! Damn, another silker taken
Another 20 dollars for a drug that they're craving
Shaking like an earthquake, thinner than a wire
Tell me is it worth for it for this deadly desire
Drug dealers laugh while they're killin' off their people
Police look the other way, so what if it's illegal
You can't do nothin' if the cops got a payoff
Try to play a hero, get a permanent layoff
Brothers wanna quit, so they aim and pull the trigger
Bang! to the head, now they're just another figure

Jews vs. Arabs, black against whites
It ain't all about who's wrong or who's right
It's all wrong this song that I'm hearing
Killing over heritage is something that I'm fearing
Tearing up each other over color of face
Check the self destruction of the whole human race
Brothers lie dead just because of religion
Why does this happen yo it wasn't his decision
Children are born stuck in a category
Raised to hate each other yo it's just another story

About all the ignorance injected in the mind
It's just gonna get worse as we pass the time
Police beat an African just because he's black
Walk down the wrong street you're never coming back
It's on the wrong track this path that we're taking
Don't judge me on the music that I'm making
Just because we're Asian they say we can't flow
I'm out to prove you different and we're here to let you know
The world is mixed-up and there's something going on
If you don't believe me then you didn't hear this song

U.F.O

a pie in your face, nothing like it makes u laugh, an old antic to liven up people... but this is more on the insulting and not a laughing thing. SPLAT.. right in your face. but this was not thrown to your face in jest, but coz you wer tripped and your face landed on the pie....

intentionally by the people you thought are your friends. Again, "our" story was shared to close friends conveniently leaving out vital info that will incriminate the story teller and places me in a stupid, pathetic situation... a trying hard loser. let me take back the pie in the face analogy but i think a knife in the back is better.

Nice of you to call, nice of you to text, nice of you to talk to me... just because you need some freaking thing. Nice one minute... cold the next - NOT THE NEXT MINUTE - but hours, days, even weeks.. until you need something again. I am so stupid to let you do that to me. I am no mr nice guy but i try... u've used me once, i was a gentlemen when i can have totally taken advantage of your vulnerability, you were there for me to pounce on but did not, because i was stupid to give you the respect that is due to you. ANGST... ANGRY... im a quick study.. i learn fast... so
dont call me, email me, text me, talk to me, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day, don't expect me to be there

"I don't wanna be your friend"
Nina remake of a Cindy Lauper original

I don't wanna see your face
I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear that you'll stay in touch maybe

I'll get just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
I'm not over you yet
And I don't think I care
And I don't want to be your friend

I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me
'cause all I want to be is just free of you baby
Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Go now, go now

Don't call me in the middle of the night...

You take it casually, and that's what's killing me
I'll get by just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye

Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
No, no baby
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I don't want to be your friend
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
I don't want to be your friend

'coz you are one active member of the User Friendly Organization.... no more friendship... lets keep it professional... at least there's a politicaly correct, not so painful term when we use friends in a professional sense.. networking. business partnership.

what you hear....

when everyone thought you're not within earshot are usually true and meant. As flattering or touching the good ones are, the hurtful ones are not as bad, its a lot worse... its not a +10 and -10 scale... they are not 2 opposing pole on teh extreme end of the chart. The negative side lingers, it makes you wary of people smoetimes even self conscious insecure.

and sometimes they think your fast asleep.... tsk tsk tsk.. hi!!! my name is aris. people sometimes spell it as aries (starbucks baristas)other times alice, or alex.. close, so its fine but aris definetly doesnt start with a C and an H... idiot!!! you just sold out on yout officemate... fags just have such big mouths. hahaha... they have got to. Anacondas with legs, Boa on jeans... they slither out of their hole spewing their venom all over the place... no offense to my gay friends just like some guys are jerks and some girls are bitches... the 3rd sex have as well a distasteful, disgusting... jerks are to guys, bitches are to gals, what do i call their gay counterpart.. hmmm... CO-- Suc*&$ng, Sp--m swallowing, butt-F@#%ing fags.

hear ye!! hear ye!!

Delirious!!!

When was the last time the feeling of delirium hit me?? That chill-down-the-spine, knee-buckling, i-see-stars, sight-blurring experience? hmmmm... secret!!! hwehehehehe.

It has been weeks, almost a month. The slightest touch, the passionate kiss, the intense stare down, the sweetest smile, the sexiest pout and the most delirously, i-just-cant-say-no request ----- Kiss me!!!

No wonder i enjoy the movie First Knight (Richard Gere, Julia Ormond, Sean Connery) A passionate lover yet true gentlemen "I will not kiss you again unless you ask me". The passion was there, the electricity was flowing but was suppressed with a strong will of the mind... but how can you stop electricity (static or dynamic) when it flows thru two bodies? conducted thru the heart repelled by the mind... the answer YOU CAN NOT...

And she ended up cradled on my arms, legs around my hips, arms around my neck... lips pressed hard against mine... time has stopped. A time out has been implicitly called, but King Arthur did not walk in on us. We just had to stop. Time out over... (beeping echo) i didn't want to let go of her... can't get myself to put her down but i had too. (beeping echo getting louder)... she was fading away. Beeping echo not an echo anymore... my phone alarm. She was real, my feelings are as well...but what happened was not... regardless if it did or not. the delirium was mine alone not mutual...

uhhmmmmm......

brain dead... blank stares... catatonic... sometimes i open thi blog but cant write anything, not even some stream of unconscious thoughts. my thoughts are now like newly openned bottle of catsup. So i am forcing myself to write, write and write, just to get the juice flowing (or should i say catsup)uuuhmmmm... duuuuhhhh.. uh-oh blannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkk thooooooooooought, (hitting head on keyboard)... tsugug tsugug...

gulooooooo moooooo!!!

too much on my plate, work... gimiks...work... parties...work...out of towns...work..movies...work...sex(i wish) hahaha....work... dates... huwaaat... date??? hmmmm... haven't been on a date in a while...

funny talaga... just when i want to seriously consider settling down and avoiding playing or dating around i am faced with a challenge from who else... the girls i go out with. It's them who doesn't seem to give up the "fun" and excitement in meeting new and dating a lot of new people... major mismatch... hahaha... so i should change my mindset.... remove the seriousness, play along... join them since i can't beat them, my social life was a lot better when i was the happy-go-lucky-type of person, no commitment, anything goes... but its tiring... draining... superficial... aaaaarghhhh ano ba talaga kuya??? gulooooooo moooo!!!!

Hell is empty.....

Saw (Ba)Sin City last night... although minutes before the movie i was warned that the movie will be draining so i shouldn't watch it if i am tired. I was tired last night... exhausted.

After the movie i was recharged... geeeeeshhhhh... this is not a review of the movie.. hell, i dont know shit about making a movie review, i dont even know what goes into cinematography as a criterion for movie review.. well anyway, i just got a scary thought...

The movie was so brutal, demented psycho characters all roled in one twisted, fairly interesting chronology of a movie sequence... if the film was shown in a full color rendition, then i would have gotten sick from all the blood bath and murders (liar!! i would have totally enjoyed it). The scary thought??... i was predicting what was going to happen next like i have seen the movie or i wrote the script myself...am i that sick in the head?? demented in the brain... golly... what if all the devils come up to earth and we have not only a sin city... not that the whole world is full of it already (sins and demons)... i think i'll command my own battallion... who know all the devils might already here.. which will make hell empty....

Demented!!! Psycho.....

STAN
By: Eminem, Feat Dido
sinibaby@hotmail.com
CHORUS (Two Times):
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad

VERSE 1:
Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn
You must not have got 'em
It probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm out to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her? I'm-a name her Bonnie.

I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him.
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan.
I even got the underground shit that you did with Scam.

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man.
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat
Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan.

Repeat Chorus:

VERSE 2:
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have the chance.
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans.
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert You didn't have to
but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew.
That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old.
We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours and ya just said no.
That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fuckin' idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do.

I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to.
Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you
You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way.
I never knew my father neither.
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her.

I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs.
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on.
Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps when I'm depressed.
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest.

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds.
It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush for me.
See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it.
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does.
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up.
You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together too.

Repeat Chorus:

VERSE 3:
Dear Mr. "I'm too good to call or write my fans"
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass.
It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect.

So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it.
I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to drive?"
You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In The Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning?
But didn't? Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him?
That's kinda how this is. You could have rescued me from drowning.
Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy.

And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call.
I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall.
I love you Slim, we could have been together. Think about it.
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it.
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it.
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me.
See Slim, (screaming) shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk.
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you.
'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too. Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now.
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

(screeching tires, crashing sounds, car splashes into the water)

Repeat Chorus:

VERSE 4:
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy.
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that.
And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it on your Starter cap.

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you.
Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you.
And what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin' dawg, c'mon, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin'
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some.

And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other.
Or maybe you just need to treat her better.
I hope you get to read this letter.
I just hope it reaches you in time.
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'd be doin' just fine
If you'd relax a little. I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan.
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit.
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick.
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it...his name was...it was you. DAMN!

Sell-a-Vision

not selling in television, but selling a vision. How can one sell a Vision? A vision that only a few sees, or worst only one person can see.

Bibilical history has always shun on prophets for they are messengers of what the future holds, they are tortured, murdered, mutilated.... and yes crucified. For they do not know when to shut up... maybe once when the first ever pope denied his leader three times.

Even scientists were not spared from such. When everyone though the rest of the universe revolved around earth. Copernicus was thought to be crazy and mad for he said that it is the sun which is the center of the universe, at least for this galaxy.. Milky Way right? He was not even selling a vision, but a theory and people can be so cruel.

The visionary of Tagaytay Highlands, Buddy Ongpin was laughed at when he said he was going to build a leisure community in Tagaytay, when Cavite was a dumpsite for "salvaged" victims and property can be bought for a song (Php1/sqm??). Look at Tagaytay now.

We are now faced with a new challenge. Selling a vision, that will happen in 2-4 years time. Residential properties are definitely a hit in Bacoor, along Daang hari, but Commercial properties?? still a question. Daang Hari is still a new diversion road with traffic volume quite low compared to other national roads in the area. so how do we sell what will happen in the future and convince people that it will happen... when visionaries are scarce... investors are scared... Entrepreneurs are wanting.

When there is a vicious cycle of co-dependence... commercial establishments build in areas with high human traffic... human traffic is induced by highly developed commercial areas... its a reinforcing loop that needs to be mitigated by an outside stimulus. The visionary with the courage to take a risk and invest, build and start something that people reckon as premature. ahhh.. inertia is such a strong force to overcome.

"The arrows turn, the swords repel, let nothing pierce this mortal shell!" ... "Ang mga sibat ganoon din ang pana, di magwawagi sa mortal shell" - Visionaries Knight of the Magical Light